It's that time of year. The time where itty bitty or forever grossing companies are on the look out for potentials. Letting free their seasonal workers who were too inadequate to continue to linger much longer and opening their arms to new potentials who they can brain wash and make part of their miniature armies. That is, if you can ace the interview.
I'd love to be part of a miniature army, it makes me sound so successful and full of power. (Let's get real, I just wanna yell "CHARGE" and raid tiny villages for all they're worth) In order to become part of the army, you have to be comfortable with confrontation. Any good warrior knows, if you wanna fight in the battles you gotta show you can shed some blood, sweat and tears.
I like to think that I would never make the part of a war hero, why? INTERVIEW ANXIETY! Instead I'd be the part of the fair maiden, too inadequate to save herself - relying on the army to rescue her yet somehow able to win everyone over with her presence as well as her qualifications written down on a piece of paper.
Interviews don't do me much justice.
That first initial call is exciting:
Hi Stephanie, you have an impressive resume. I'd be more than happy to meet with you to discuss it further for this position.
You set a date and time. The days, minutes, hours, moments, seconds leading up to that interview, you have an overwhelming amount of emotions that will tear at every single part of your brain until there is nothing left.
The date rolls in quicker than you could recourse, and you're as prepared as you could ever be.
Be yourself. Yeah and let me chug back a beer while I'm at it too. Impress. That's more like it. Dress to impress, memorize to impress...but don't forget...BE YOURSELF. Like it's not difficult already.
The only preparation you have is a firm handshake and enough eye contact that you don't look creepy. The rest is up to fate.
The actual interview process is a bit of a black out for me...I say what I need to say, respond to every question to the best of my abilities taking my nervousness into consideration (Sweaty arm pits? Nope, phew.) as I outline my responsibilities for past work experience. (Good, the interview is going great)
Thank you for your time. We are currently in the process of making final decisions. All applicants will know by the end of the week whether they got the job. Do you have any questions for me?
Of course I have questions for you...but in the moment, somehow I draw a blank and say the inevitable NO. I would love to know what drew you to the company and I would love to know if this is something you'd see yourself doing long term. Instead, it's a big NO said with the amount of confidence of a man impaled with a bayonet in the middle of no mans land would have.
Looking back, you just know that if anything could have went wrong like stepping on a landmine, catching a grenade, being shot in the head, it probably would have been the fact that you didn't ask questions or your own thoughts consumed your words so much that you turned out to be some blabbering fool.
Just gotta keep those hopes up. If it doesn't work out, don't sweat it - you probably didn't want to be one of their Zombies anyway.
Like any novice warlord to be...., I'll one day overcome the INTERVIEW ANXIETY. I will prove that I have blood, sweat and tears to shed (and I mean A LOT of tears) I'll ace the interview and then I too will scope out potentials to enlist in my army.
Hey! Thanks for following my blog. Yours is so charming, so I'm definitely going to follow :)
ReplyDeletehaha, I totally get the interview anxiety too. Luckily, I've had the same job for about three + years, so I haven't done an interview lately. But I did many before I got my current job and by the time I was done I was a pro!
I get all anxious about interviews, too! I haven't had to do one in about a year and a half, but just thinking about future interviews makes me feel nervous. I think it's all about being confident and owning yourself! I'm sure you will give them a great impression.
ReplyDeleteI also wanted to say thank you for commenting on my other post. I definitely was in going down a bumpy road there for a while! Thank you so much for telling me that quote-- I've never heard it before. I agree that being alone in your thoughts can bring you down a scary, sad path sometimes. But that is a part of life! Also, I definitely agree with the last part of your email-- that we have to surround ourselves only with those who value, respect, and love us. I try to keep that in mind when I come across someone who is rude to me. I finally have it down, though :) I think it's because I know what I deserve, and I'm not going to settle for anything less.
Interviews are probably some of the most terrifying make or break moments of life. My own personal opinion is that interviews, you can only talk yourself up so much...there isn't much of a chance to show your real you.
DeleteI'm glad that my post seemed to lift your spirits abit. I am even more glad that things are looking up for you. You're right though, know what you deserve and never settle. :)