Fragile Things

After weeks of much thought, I decided I should share a little secret I have kept far too long. I wouldn't say it's a bad secret, yet I don't think it's something that many people willingly share and maybe I am making the mistake of sharing it, however it has to be brought into the open sometime. I have come to the conclusion, that for a while following my most recent break-up I have been emotionally unstable. 

Yes, it is a completely normal thing for a girl to cry after a break up. And yes it's okay to cry 2-3 or in my case 5 days after a break up. It's not okay however, to cry when you otta be over it. I don't even know how it came about, but I have become emotionally fragile. Not in the sense that I create waterfalls cry all the time, but in the sense that it's the little things that pull at the bouts of my apathy.

Back at the very start of January, I had an entire week prior to classes or my room mates coming back to my self. I didn't know what to do with myself, and so often times I would have late nights watching whatever movies were on TV and gorging myself on popcorn. Those nights sometimes got lonely, mostly because everyone I knew here was still on holiday. 

I will probably never let myself live this one down, but there was a night where YTV's movie special was Mean Girls. And I was like "Hey, why not, nothing else is on." I generally enjoy watching that movie from time to time, it was in the days before Lindsay Lohan let herself go. Ah reminiscence. It is not one of those movies that you would expect a person to cry, except from laughter at the stupid high school cliques and realizing that in reality, it is NEVER like that!

Throughout the entire movie I was fine, I was content with my super buttery popcorn and the fact that I had no essays, or readings to worry about. Then came:

Congratulations on winning State.


I was so nervous.

They made us do limits.


I thought I was gonna hurl.


- How's your stomach now?

- It's fine.

- Do you feel nauseous at all?

- No.

- Have you been drinking?

- No.

OK.

Grool.

No.

If you can't tell from just lines, this is the scene where even though Cady was complete bitch pancake, she still got the guy. This is when the waterworks began, I sobbed. It was disgusting! Who cries during Mean Girls, Mean Girls, MEAN GIRLS! Like seriously, I would have taken crying over any other movie but no, it had to be mean girls. 

What has happened to me? If I cry during Mean Girls, what's next? Sobbing over the fact that everyone is just too damned nice? It doesn't help my case that I thoroughly enjoy watching movies that make me cry, which lately it seems to be every other movie I watch. 

In the end, when its all said and done - it's okay to cry. Yes, for months after a break-up I believe it is quite normal to be fragile. However, next time I bawl over a movie such as Mean Girls, someone please come over and slap some sense into me.