Too much excitement = A lost cause

If you were to come up to me a little over a year ago and ask me what I was scared of, I would find it a very difficult thing to answer. I would say: Nothing scares me. I laugh in the face of danger. HAHAHAHA. Spiders - Pshht, "crawl onto my hand and be free into the wilderness" Dying: It's gonna be my time at some point  Falling - I have plans to throw myself out of a plane one day. 

To this day still, there isn't much that frightens me. However, the difference between now and a year ago, my answer would be this: I am scared of becoming excited about things, because if I get too excited they end and become a lost cause. 

"Stephanie, where is the optimism?"  You say. 

My response: I promise you, it is still there. However at some point or another we develop fears we never knew existed and mine is becoming TOO excited. Is there a such thing?

Even the most optimistic person in the world, will have a pessimistic quality. I mean, we all have some negative thoughts. After all, it is sort of inevitable and with all this depressing winter weather, it is no surprise I am feeling this way. 

Growing up is a hard thing to do. True, sheer excitement for things doesn't generally come around as often as it did when we were young. I know, I am sounding like I am super old and maybe going against February 6th's inspiration of Stan Lee and how his career only began when he was 40. Link to the page here

When you're putting most of your focus toward working your ass off to get good grades in college and paying the bills, you sort of stop focusing on anything "exciting". When it comes around, you talk about it a lot and it's the only thing on your mind. You get so excited and tell everyone and by the time you are just getting to know a person, or just becoming excited about the prospect of a relationship or what's down the road....it sort of ends, out of the blue. I call it Karma. 

As far as I know, however I don't think I deserve "Bad Karma". I think it's more or less a reminder. A reminder that unless there is a complete certainty of the future of something, don't get too excited because you will wind up disappointed. 

I know, I know, the pessimism is putting a damper on your fabulous Thursday. Here is an ounce of optimism (Just to prove to you that it still exists inside of me). 

While those things that are "exciting" in whatever way you believe them to be end with disappointment...it never really puts a damper on the prospects of hope. Even with the negativity behind excitement and the fear of it becoming a lost cause, I still steadily hold by the notion that "Everything happens for a reason"  or "a better reason". We learn from everything, whether they are mistakes or far from that. In the end, it may be better to keep it all on the DL before you know the calibre of its certainty.