Be your own hero

I've spent a lot of time, especially in the past two years relying on others perhaps too much for my own happiness, failing to recognize that I am completely competent enough to create my own happiness and satisfaction. What I am only beginning to learn now, is that life is about challenges. It's about tests and figuring out where you went wrong. We can't always rely on others to change things, there comes a point when it's time to do the things you do for YOU.

Coming to grips with that specific point "it's time to do the things you do for you" has been one of the most difficult things to come to terms with. I'm so used to having a male companion by my side that I sort of put my own creation of happiness on the back burner. And I know it sounds so lame but when you get used to a person, it's hard to get yourself back to normal. Yet, since I have been single for the past 3 months now...I see life in a new light. It's been difficult and let me tell you, all this negative energy that has been hanging around has made it quite a challenge.

The most challenging part has been attempting to eliminate the hatred that seems to be consuming my soul quite well. Yes, as silly as it seems...so much hate to the ex - for some good reasons I think...but that's aside from the fact. The point is, I am finally starting to understand myself and learn how to make myself genuinely happy again. It feels good and it seems like it's been a while since that has happened.

Now, I have made a handful of daring decisions within the past few months but I mean when you're turning a new leaf, you're creating a new you so...those daring decisions are quite legitimate in my humble opinion. Even if they aren't the BEST decisions. 

Life is about creating yourself. It's so true, but we don't realize it until our childhood is over and the epiphany of being an adult hits you right in the junk. It's quite dreadful really, at the same time...an eye opener and sometimes you say "Life is short! F*** it!" then you do something crazy. In the end, you don't have regrets.

If I have learned anything thus far through everything, it is - sometimes you have to be your own hero.